Friendship

It's funny. I started to write a blog entry last week about friendship, but scrapped it. I ended up feeling that I was just upset at the time, and that it was being extremely harsh to some people who hadn't really done anything wrong. Well, here I am to do this again. Because I've come to the decision that friendship shouldn't be this one sided, this much work for one person, when the person on the other side doesn't seem to care anymore.

See, I've never really been good at friendships. But I'm starting to realize that maybe, all along, the problem wasn't me. See, I've got a habit of trying to be friends with a certain type of person. And this type of person happens to be the type that outgrows their need for me. I thought that I had gotten past that point in my life. I thought that now, as an adult, the friends I made would be there for me, and I'd develop some real friendships. But, here we are again, full circle. I had what I thought was a great friendship, with a guy that I cared very deeply about. But see, the problem turned out to be, that he wasn't listening to the words I was actually saying. He made his own assumptions about my feelings, which means to me that he never actually knew me as well as I thought he did. Or maybe it was just all a big misunderstanding. Either way, now, it's like pulling teeth to try and get him to talk with me. And I'm just done trying. I'm done trying with a few different people.

Because I'm sick of letting these people hurt me, and I'm not going to let it happen anymore. I'd rather have no friends, than people that I think are friends, who couldn't really care less.

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